Why I Stopped Glorifying Being Busy & Burned Out

“How are you?”

“Busy.”

I’m so busy. Three powerful, tiny words.

Three destructive words.

Three words that burned me out, that hurt my mental health, that made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough if I wasn’t “busy.”

Like I’d fail at whatever I was setting out to achieve, like I’d be viewed as lazy.

But what I was really saying was I’m so tired. I’m too tired.

We live in a world that constantly makes us wonder if we’re enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. Active enough. Successful enough. Rich enough.

And, frankly, it’s gross.

So how about this: Enough of glorifying busyness and burnout.

Rest Does Not Equal Laziness

Repeat after me: I need rest.

Whatever that looks like for you, whether it’s a good old-fashioned nap, an hour of watching your favorite comfort show, a long walk through nature, or curling up on the porch with a good book, figure it out and make it a regular habit.

I still feel guilty sometimes when I’m taking a break rather than working on something with a looming deadline. But breaks are essential. They’re human. It took a pandemic shutdown in the spring of 2020, when the entire world had to stay home, for me to finally see how desperately I needed to rest.

Redefining Success

“Busy” does not equal success. The “work smarter, not harder” mantra has merit. It’s a learning curve, but I’m working on it.

And in the almost two years since the world as we knew it flipped on its head, I’ve had a few wake-up calls in that respect.

First, my sheer exhaustion clued me in to how humans are not built for a grinding 40-hour work week. Some people do well with it. But…it’s not the only way to work. It’s not conducive to rest or to a slower pace. And I think more and more people are recognizing that.

Second, I was going at about 100 miles per hour when I should have been going, like, 30. After living in big cities for so long, after juggling a full-time job with finishing a dissertation, I was used to a fast pace. And I was having a really hard time downshifting from that.

Third, I felt pressure to be busy all the time. Like, all the time. If I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t accomplishing anything. But I needed to stop telling myself that lie.

My success, I needed to understand, did not depend on being busy.

Self-Care > Being Busy

Here’s the thing–rest and self care are accomplishments. If, in the fast-paced world we live in, you’re able to recognize what you need and when you need to slow down, then that’s a huge victory right there. Your mental health and well-being are top priorities. Reframing self-care as a priority has helped me make it a key part of my week. Slowing down is self-care. Rest is self-care. Compassion for yourself is self-care.

“I’m so busy” is no longer a positive phrase. If I find myself thinking this, my next questions are, “Okay, what do I need to say no to?” or “What do I need to stop doing altogether?” Sure, I’ll have times when my schedule is busier than it typically is, or days when I have more things to get done than usual. Everyone does; it’s called “life.” And yes, I still get burned out, though sometimes due to circumstances beyond my control.

But I don’t treat busyness or burnout as an accomplishment anymore. My successes feel greater knowing that I was able to achieve them with rest and self-care.

So.

“How are you?”

Maybe I’ll have a better answer next time.